Pro Tips To Identify Fears And Overcome Them

I’ve been gripped by fear many times in my life, too afraid to take chances or speak up in certain instances, afraid of ridicule or failure.

So as I pushed past the fear of starting this blog, I was eager to read author and entrepreneur Ruth Soukup’s latest book, Do It Scared: Finding The Courage To Face Your Fears, Overcome Adversity, And Create A Life You Love.

Do It Scared ™ is a must-read for anyone who wants to begin or continue to build, a life they love and who finds that fear is holding them back.

With an inspirational yet no-nonsense approach, Soukup asks some important questions: What would you do if fear no longer stood in your way? Have you been putting your dreams on hold, telling yourself you’re too busy or don’t have the resources to follow them? Are you afraid others might laugh at you or that you’ll just plain fail?

I found she answers these questions by helping readers to first identify their own specific Fear Archetypes™ or patterns. She then follows up by outlining several principles of courage.

With an inspirational yet no-nonsense approach, Soukup asks some important questions: What would you do if fear no longer stood in your way? Have you been putting your dreams on hold, telling yourself you’re too busy or don’t have the resources to follow them?

I like that Soukup doesn’t just talk the talk but lives it too, having overcome many obstacles in her own life.

Do It Scared And Balance

These principles of courage include, daring to think big, knowing there are no mistakes, only lessons, and that balance is overrated, because if everything is important, nothing is.

Balance is overrated? I had to really think about that marker of courage, since as women, many of us have been programmed to strive for a more balanced life, right? That our lives should be equally balanced between family, work, friends and home.

Soukup calls out balance, asking if it’s actually just a myth or a fairy tale, pointing out that if we give weight to “All. The. Things.,” we’ll never give enough weight to the really important things in our lives.

So, as I’m mulling this point over, I read about this very concept in the fall 2019 issue of Magnolia Journal, in an article entitled, Wholly Unbalanced, by Joanna Gaines.

Aside: Has this happened to you, that when you see or read about something, you’ll see the same thing mentioned or see it again someplace else?

In a nutshell, Gaines says that for her, balance doesn’t exist and that total balance requires that everything in our lives be “equally distributed at all times,” which isn’t the way her daily life unfolds. She believes that showing up for the things we really care about “with our whole selves” is where we’ll find fulfillment and meaning in our lives.

I love when books spark my imagination and this point did just that.

In my won life, I find it’s a juggling act where some things come to the fore for a bit and then I have to re-focus all over again. How about you?

Identifying Fear Patterns

Soukup breaks fear down into seven archetypes or patterns.

She surveyed more than 4,000 people about the role fear played in their lives, hired a team of researchers to analyze the data and identified the seven fear archetypes that impact our willingness to step out of our comfort zones to pursue a dream or opportunity.

And while each of us has a few qualities of all seven archetypes, most of us have at least one dominant archetype that affects us most strongly, she says.

These archetypes are:

• The Procrastinator – When you’re most afraid of making a mistake.
• The Rule Follower – When you’re most afraid of coloring outside the lines.
• The People Pleaser – When you’re most afraid of what other people will think.
• The Outcast – When you’re most afraid of rejection.
• The Self-Doubter – When you’re most afraid that you’re not enough.
• The Excuse Maker – When you’re most afraid of taking responsibility.
• The Pessimist – When you’re most afraid of adversity.

Founder of the popular blog, Living Well Spending Less® and the Do It Scared® podcast, Soukup outlines each archetype’s primary fear, negative traits and positive attributes.

She also provides a personalized online fear assessment to identify specific fear archetypes.

Turn the Script Around

Once you’ve identified how fears show up in your life, it’s time to start moving past it by letting go of limiting beliefs and changing your mindset by employing the following principles of courage:

• Dare to think big and never doubt your abilities.
• Think for yourself.
• Take responsibility for your responses.
• Surround yourself with people who will give you honest feedback.
• There are no mistakes, only lessons.
• Just keep going.

Do It Scared In Action

The last part of the book focuses on actually applying the principles of courage to our lives.

“Action is the only antidote to fear,” Soukup says.

Her courage in action includes the following steps:

• Be clear about your big goal.
• Find your why.
• Create an action plan.
• Form your own truth club.
• Stop comparing.
• Eliminate excuses.
• Stay encouraged.

“There is a fate worse than failure – far worse. A consequence of not trying that will ultimately haunt us far longer than the repercussions of making a mistake or the fallout from trying and failing. It’s the pain of regret,” Soukup says.

I enjoyed reading this book and if I can put even a quarter of these concepts into practice, I’ll be well on my way to doing it scared.

Next up, ready to make small changes? Read Atomic Habits, by James Clear.

Disclosure: I received an advance copy of Do It Scared in exchange for an honest review. This in no way affects my opinion of this book.